I see you, sis.
You have been spinning your wheels tirelessly for years. You're tired from holding it all up, and when you lay in bed at night you wonder — who is actually holding you?
You’ve done it all with a smile on your face, making it look effortless. You get a steady stream of admiration as a consolation prize for your greatest struggle — the need to be perfect.
It’s the best way you have found to maintain safety through control.
But no one in your life knows the truth.
Your house is perfect, your husband is perfect, your kids are perfect, your outfit is perfect. Those things never seem to touch the hidden places of hurt inside of you, but who are you to ask for more?
It’s normal to feel the gut intuition that there is more in this life for you.
Love was never meant to come with conditions.
You do such a good job holding it all together, finding yourself surrounded but alone. You keep your walls high to protect everything and sometimes you wonder what it would be like to really let them drop.
What happens if you never let this armor fall to the ground? Survival will keep running the show.
The parts of you that you are protecting will continue to harden over time, and become more machine-like than ever. You may run like this for decades, controlling everything and everyone around you while losing even more of your ability to truly connect. You will fight, rescue and fix forever, and exhaustion will always be a close companion behind the fight.
There will be no rest for you here.
That deep heaviness and the shameful stories you will tell yourself will leave you not wanting to get out of bed some days. That deep pit in your stomach that tells you something is “off” won’t just go away. You can’t buy, inject, work or spend your way out of this, sweet friend.
True safety, trust and love for yourself were never meant to be held hostage by the hands of another. He can’t fix you, and fixing him -- that won’t fix you either.
Somewhere inside of you, there is a whisper.
The whisper comes from a little girl you used to know. She was free from the prison of performance. She softly reminds you that you weren’t made for hiding your wholeness. You were made to be loved unconditionally, and not just on your best day. Every part of you is lovable and worthy of being cherished.
For me personally, it was hard to believe this.
I learned from an early age that I would get more smiles and when I was in a cute outfit, pleasing others, hiding my emotions that I wasn’t even sure how to feel and only showing only my best side.
I knew if I was pleasing, I would be loved and ultimately, safe. Over the years, I found a way to climb to the top of every ladder, but the top of each of those ladders didn’t hold the peace I was looking for.
I didn’t really know what I enjoyed, but I knew exhaustion. I knew how it felt to earn love from the man in your house over and over again each day. I knew good and well how to earn pats on the back for staying trapped inside a life that silenced my voice. I kept everything in line because this is all I knew, and I could carry it — even if it crushed my bones — because I had done it my whole life.
It worked for me for a while.
Until it didn’t. Only when the kingdom I’d built to keep me safe came crashing down could I finally lay a new foundation of real, secure love for myself and others. In the untangling of my old way of life I found forgiveness, peace, support, joy, honesty - and most of all - real safety and unconditional love.
What if I told you that the very thing you are holding onto so tightly could be holding you back from your peace?
Imagine what it would feel like to just let go — to surrender. I can tell you that, for me, it felt like 10,000 pounds being lifted gently off my shoulders. It felt new and unfamiliar, but it also felt like I was free to finally thrive instead of just survive.
If you are ready to put your peace, purpose and presence as a priority, I will walk with you hand in hand during our 10-week program.
Together, we will:
- Bear witness to your story
- Understand what your body has been doing to keep you safe
- Identify patterns that are no longer serving you
- Restore your dignity
- Show yourself that you are braver than your worst fear.
I know this feels like you are stepping into the unknown, but you will not brave this alone. For the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, it will feel safe to be seen.
I will help you understand that you are not broken, but that you have brilliantly survived and made it this far, and that alone is an achievement.
The thing is, you get to decide what you carry into the next season, and it can be abundance and transformation. You can reprogram all those old tapes in your head that have been telling you that staying sick and trapped is the only way. There is no shame in survival and there is power in your story.
Investing in your healing is the greatest currency you have to leverage real change in your world, in your future and for the future of your family. This may not have started with you, but it can end with you. This can be a line in the sand once and for all.
After 10 weeks, you will:
- Experience peace and joy like you have never known
- Enjoy real, true rest
- See yourself as a worthy and whole person
- Be equipped, empowered and unleashed for your greatest purpose
- Understand your needs, and allow them to live and breathe in the light of day
- Finally find that you can trust and love yourself first, and that will change everything
There is nothing braver than showing up and letting yourself be seen, while holding compassion for your story and the wholeness that lies ahead.